Self service tills at a busy city center store

11am. Wake up after a late night in work - grab coffee and get some breakfast. Watch some Jeremy Kyle, feel like punching him but can't help watching and wondering where they find these people...

Noon. Starting to get ready now, giving my uniform a quick iron, throw it on and set off to get the bus which is 10 minutes late.

12:40pm. Arrive, walk through the doors, greet security staff and make for the sweets isle. Grab some stuff to throw in pockets and go over to S/S to buy them. Massive queue, no way I’m waiting, ask a S/S to serve me on 110, casually throw in something about being on my break as I feel the eyes of countless customers glaring. Can’t help but notice a flurry of cash only signs on the S/S checkouts and sea of red lights as the lazy operator is on today.

12:50pm. Clocked in, now in the locker room - putting stuff away and checking mobile for messages... no signal... wonder why I always check? Make my way to the staff canteen and get a quick drink of orange, maybe some toast. Can't help but notice the constant "Customer Service Section 1 Checkouts" announcements.

12:55pm. Make my way upstairs, plough through the sea of lines at the checkouts and arrive at S/S with a few minutes to spare. Have a quick check over all the tills - many need bags, till rolls, and have products scattered all over them. Why does this lazy person always do this?

1pm. Take the S/S keys from lazy operator and begin shift as they go home - run around helping customers, managing the queue, repeating what you just said to some customers, trying to find a till roll, repeating again - slower - to some customers, find a till roll open checkout and start to put till roll in, red lights all around you, rushing you lock up the till and guide a customer to it, dance around clearing bagging alerts, explaining that everything is weighed, taking un-scanned items out of bags and scanning them explaining to customers that you scan one item at a time and place in bag, moments later you notice this person doing the exact opposite of what you just said - bagging alert - customer getting irritated... repeat what you said to the customer - slowly and demonstrating - leaving them to it as you go to authorise an alcohol sale.

Glance at your queue notice there’s only one person... and one person at the other 6 and a sea of people at checkouts. You stand at the front of S/S and shout down,” Would anybody like to use Self Service - it will save you queuing and I am here to help you!" to be responded by pffts and shaking heads. Colleague wanders up and asks individuals... you decided to brisk over towards the back of checkouts and use the tannoy," This is a customer service announcement - just a reminder to all our customers we have 12 self service checkouts available towards the front of the store where friendly members of staff are willing to help you. Thank you for shopping at Tesco." and a bit later you do another one along the lines of;

"This is a customer service announcement - instead of waiting in the queues at our main bank checkouts why not try one of our 12 self service checkouts available towards the front of our store - where friendly members of staff are willing to help you. Thank you."

As you return to the S/S checkouts you find a customer baffled at a till which has ran out of £5.00 notes - you explain what has happened and go to get him his £5.00 from 110 and log that the checkout owes 110 £5.00. You turn the machine off - and do the usual dance around dealing with customers who need help, bagging alerts and customer queries. You slowly get annoyed by the fact that Jam Donuts never work and manually enter them for customers and remind a T/L that the pick list needs editing... and notice your college on the other side of S/S rushing off to shop floor to check a price... thanks for letting me know? You dance around managing all 12 checkouts - customer waving and calling you here and there impatiently. When the colleague returns, you return to your own side, find yourself IDing an entire group of teenagers who obviously thought they wouldn't get ID'd on S/S... take their alcohol and give them back the cash they put in the machine. Cancel items and press finish and pay... keep the void amount down!

As the queues slowly die down (calm before the storm?) you realise it's 3.30pm and you should be getting your break soon! :D Slightly uplifted you continue to run around the tills as the queues once again pick up and become ridiculous with at least 20 or so people in every queue at a checkout and each side of S/S.

4pm. BREAK TIME! Get yourself the greasiest meal you can to make yourself feel better. Have a natter with staff and complain about Tesco for the entirety of your break.

5pm. You make your way upstairs to find the situation has not changed at all, wrestling passed customers to reach the S/S tills you let the break man know you are back he checks his watch and potters off to do his next break. You bounce around cleaning the tills - you hate them being messy - collecting left change and helping customers as you go.

A regular customer who you help every day or so, and have explained S/S to countless times comes and asks if you work here... "Yes dear - how can I help?" you reply knowing full well she wants you to put her entire basket through... when she answers you explain that it is S/S - you will show her and explain it to her but can't put them through... You help other customers as she approaches a till - you are dealing with somebody who needs to sign for their card as she taps you on the shoulder asking if you are going to help her or not... you politely tell her you will be with her in a moment.

As you bid goodbye to the card signer, and clear a few bagging alerts, you make your way to the lady and talk her through everything... Press start - this is a bar code - you scan it here... place item in this area. "Now you have a go" you tell her - she looks insulted as she slowly picks up an item and randomly pokes it at the screen... -_- You guide her through again... and again... and again... and keep getting called on by customers. You get fed up with her and just do her basket for her - pretty annoyed you consider squashing her bread...

You finish and turn around to find you have two queues? One for each set of three checkouts -- "It's one queue only for each side of the S/S Checkouts please!" you proclaim to the customers who just blink at you... "It's just one queue here please - can you make one queue for me please!" you add to no effect. Your colleague notices you are getting pretty fed up and joins in with co-ordinating the queue... eventually you have one queue - and as you stand beside it somebody walks right passed the queue from the Main Bank queues and goes to use a machine.

You jump into action explaining that there's a queue to be met with a flurry of abuse about being stupid and how the customer refuses to queue as they only have one item... you explain that there are a lot of customers with only one item who are patiently waiting in the queue as this customer walks past you and towards an empty queue. How dare they?! You follow - putting yourself in front of the checkout;

"Sir, I’m afraid you need to queue up or you will not be getting served here." You note to him with a carefully crafted tone to which in reply the customer lashes his bread on the floor and storms off swearing... "lovely" you think as you pick up the Hovis and invite the giggling customer at the front of the queue to use the available checkout who thanks you.

You continue running around dealing with price checks, bagging alerts, customer queries, till rolls, bag refills, cleaning, waste, products and queue management... before finally it begins to calm down!

7.30pm. Happy for a break you wander to the middle of the checkouts and have a chat with the fellow S/S Operator as you watch over the tills - breaking conversation in moments as each of you break off to deal with problems, alerts etc before resuming the conversation as you return. Have a quick clean around the tills as the conversation dries out and the flow of customers slows to an almost halt. Begin to hold conversation again about what you are doing tonight - or something...

Getting bored you grab some spray, the cleaning log book and a wipe and give the checkouts a good clean discovering they hadn't actually been cleaned in about a month - something the morning staff should be checking and doing if needed each day.

8.30pm. BREAK TIME! Yay! You grab yourself some goodies from shop floor and make your way downstairs to have a good natter and relax. Usually accompanied by some awful or fab TV depending on who manages to get control of the TV remote.

9.05pm. Happy hour! You get upstairs slightly late - you forgot you had money in your pockets and had to head back downstairs. Colleague on one side of S/S has just gone home - person doing your break has left both sides open... you quickly close one side and leave the side closest to the checkouts open - better to be able to talk when there’s no customers. You tidy up the checkouts and get on with writing some notes into the S/S book properly which you didn't have time to write during the day. Notes about broken machines, tills being shut, made cash only etc and count the customer left receipts and make a log of it before tipping it into 110.

With hardly any customers in, and they usually know what they're doing at this time you get the closed side of S/S ready for a T/L to close. You put out the bags and pods - and ask the T/L if they want you to print off the till readings ready for her. She changes her password for me and then when I’m finished changes it back giving me her thanks.

9.40pm. CSD gets on the tannoy and reminds customers in shop that we close at 10 - one of the happiest moments of the day hearing that message!

9.50pm. You make sure S/S is all tidy and close the side left open - put the pods and bags out and close 110 and head downstairs early as the CSD tannoys remaining customers to the Main Bank checkouts.

10.00pm. Leave the shop and brace your self for another wonderful day tomorrow!