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Crazy Substitutions

Started by the-vortex, 19-03-12, 09:08PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Diggory

I had a customer request some vaseline and the sub was painkillers.   :'(

BANDERSNATCH

Rub an aspirin on it and if it's no better come back and see me.

penguin

Best one yet Tesco went to Helfords for a senior manager and got sent a total moron instead  :-X
Do not let anyone tell you there is not a decent job and life beyond Tesco.

Bluevanman

Quote from: the-vortex on 19-03-12, 09:08PM
As Dot Comedy driver of several years standing I am still shocked at some of the ridiculous substitutions offered to out customers.

Can anyone match today's special?  Wanted 2 bags of Marshmallows substituted with 2 sets of 'Happy Birthday' candles!   :o

You couldn't make it up!

Around xmas customer ordered a local paper and got a Xmas tree bauble containing make up
another was they ordered 6 bottles of gluten free beer got 6 boxes of gluten free chocolate cake mix

Shana

Ordered value cabbage, got iceberg lettuce. Hangars for spray bottles and my absolute favourite,  ordered mince got lettuce ???

allyjohn

My recent one was Mixed Mushroom Stir Fry for Mushrooms,

mexicopete

At least it had mushroom in, just in jigsaw form. ;) ;) :D :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D
The worlds me lobster

therustingretailgiant

Quote from: the-vortex on 19-03-12, 09:08PM
As Dot Comedy driver of several years standing I am still shocked at some of the ridiculous substitutions offered to out customers.

Can anyone match today's special?  Wanted 2 bags of Marshmallows substituted with 2 sets of 'Happy Birthday' candles!   :o

You couldn't make it up!
I've seen a sub for sanitary towels... it was a sachet of hair dye

B.O.B

Some recent corkers at my store:

Customer ordered 1 aubergine - got 2 bulbs of garlic.
Customer ordered 3 aubergines - got 3 cucumbers (she'd already ordered 2 anyway).
Customer ordered toothpaste - got Nurofen sinus relief tablets.

sep1985

A customer wanted free from sausages, they got.....a dame bar cake ! Filled with gluten, lactose, sugars...everything that free from products don't have. WTF ?

B.O.B

But by far my best one occurred just a couple of weeks ago.  Customer ordered disinfectant, but received a bag of dry cat food. 

Shame she doesn't have a cat...

Eggbert Nobacon

we have had 2 classics that have amused rather than worried, 1 customer orders toilet rolls gets naan breads, 2 customer orders leg of lamb gets block of cheese

penguin

Can anyone who works in dot com enlighten me, do the pickers themselves select the substitute item or does the system select it.
Do not let anyone tell you there is not a decent job and life beyond Tesco.

Ladyb2016

The system does give you a choice but the picker has the final say
That's why there are so many strange choices when you sub.

dazzle

Funniest sub ever. Iordered a duck driver but i got subbed duck toilet cleaner..  hahaha. :D

JL

Alot of pickers like to have a laugh with this.

Nomad

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/3608786/tesco-substitution-quality-street-bath-mat-reddit/

QuoteSOME TIN WRONG Tesco customer baffled after bungling delivery staff substitute online order of eight Quality Street tins for a BATH MAT

At least it was not a chocolate bath mat.
Nomad ( Forum Admin )
It's better to be up in arms than down on your knees.

Thinpatience

Substitution  is very much common sense , but then we don't all have it 😂
Fruit substitutions are the worst , for etc if a particular apple say for instance a Gala apple is not in stock it will tell you to substitute for a banana or something not remotely similar 😂 the system is flawed .

Swampy

I think I can top trump all of the above, delivery to a young couple, instead of 12 condoms......wait for it..........drum roll......it was substituted with............. Durex Lubricant!!!!!!!    Now whoever picked this order has a sense of humour of the highest order..........Strangely the girlfriend refused the sub. :o

optout

surely 12 small produce bags would have performed the same function, and cost nothing.
I AM NOT A REP, BUT......

Swampy


Got to say 'Optout'.... I thought romance was dead but you certainly know how to treat the ladies...   8)

optout

#121
chucks what can I say, your making me blush.....trade secrets and all that.....Not for me of course...if it were for me the obvious substitution would be 12 50Litre bin bags....Ahem :-[
no expense spared Swampy, no expense spared.

I AM NOT A REP, BUT......

Ford Torino

Quote from: Thinpatience on 26-02-19, 08:53PM
Substitution  is very much common sense , but then we don't all have it 😂
Fruit substitutions are the worst , for etc if a particular apple say for instance a Gala apple is not in stock it will tell you to substitute for a banana or something not remotely similar 😂 the system is flawed .

This morning before going to work, I happened to be reading all about the Colossus decryption computer, the brilliant men and women who worked at Bletchley Park, and the key roles they played in helping the Allies to win the Second World War.

When I got to work, it turns out nearly 80 years later, Tesco computers can't tell the difference between a leek and an avocado.

I'll say the system's flawed!

gomezz

Quote from: Ford Torino on 09-10-19, 03:16PMthe brilliant men and women who worked
This is the key difference.
"The progress of the kart is more important than its direction"

CosmicSpacehead

While the pre selected substitutes aren't that bad (anymore), things get funny when the pickers have to engage a braincell or two.

A shortlist of today's subs.
Ordered 4x 4 pint semi skimmed milk.
Received 16x 2 pint semi skimmed milk.

Same run, different customer.
Ordered 1x 6 pint semi skimmed milk.
Received 1x 2 pint semi skimmed milk.

Same run again, different customer.
Ordered Tofu.
Received Amoy Noodles.

Last week.
Ordered 6x mixer sized cans of diet coke.
Received 10x 1.75l coke zero bottles.
The tray was almost too heavy to lift to the top shelf it was supposed to go on, and all the other shopping was just piled on top.

Best substitute I've ever seen;
Ordered frozen pizza.
Received Medium T-Shirt.

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